


Just Acting

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fuma and Kento are casted for a movie together, the lines between acting and real life start to blur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Acting

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know that they would never honestly be casted for a movie like this in real life, but after being encouraged by TList, I decided to write it anyways.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

Fuma’s POV

I had always waited for this moment, being offered the main role, or one of the two main roles, in this case, to a high ranking movie, directed by prestigious names and based on a best-selling novel. 

But as I sat there in that meeting room with the managers, script spread in front of me and going through the pages in something like panic, I was not so sure if I really wanted it anymore, after all. 

I looked over to Nakajima hesitantly, but his eyes were glued to the papers in front of him, not meeting my gaze. 

It was not like there was anything wrong with the story, technically: It was a good story, suspenseful, dramatic, socio-critical. And the fact that the director had specifically suggested Kento and me as the leading actors was as much surprising as it was flattering, because whereas Kento had at least starred in one movie that had not been strictly JE ruled, the only thing I had to offer were a couple of smaller drama roles. 

All in all, I should have been jumping at the opportunity, but there was one big point that had me hesitating: The subject of the movie was homosexual love. 

I glanced over at Kento again, but before any of us could say anything, the manager had already spoken up.

“We know it’s a difficult subject, but it is also a huge chance for both of you” he said, looking from Kento to me. “This movie is expected to be groundbreaking in that genre, and the fact that you two are the preferred lead actors is a huge thing!”

“Why us, though?” Kento asked, frowning. “I mean, this does not seem like a movie anyone would usually cast Johnny’s idols for.”

“The director told us that he was searching for two male actors that had an obvious chemistry” the manager explained. “He did not just want to cast two strangers, he wanted someone with a history, if possible friends. And somehow you two must have caught his eyes.” When none of us answered immediately, he added: “He is convinced that you would be perfect for the roles, and reading the script, we agreed. It screams Nakajima Kento and Kikuchi Fuma all over, so please consider it.”

I leaned back in my chair, my mind strangely numb. I was thankful when it was Kento who spoke up.

“Can we have a few minutes to discuss this?” he suggested. “I don’t want to make this decision lightly.”

“Okay” the manager nodded with a sigh, standing up and gesturing at his colleagues. “We will make lunch break and when we return in an hour, please let us know your decision.”

Kento and I nodded, watching as everyone else left the room. The sound of the door closing behind them was disturbingly loud. 

Finally, Kento turned to meet my eyes, expression serious and a little worried.

“What do you think?” he asked. 

“I don’t know” I said honestly. “They are right, it is a huge compliment and a big chance.”

“But do you think we can pull it off?” Kento said slowly. “And I don’t mean acting-wise, I mean… Do you think we’d be able to do this without things getting between us?”

“We do fanservice all the time” I reminded him. “What is different about this?”

“We are supposed to kiss, Fuma” Kento pointed out, and heat rose in his cheeks. “And act out a sex scene.”

“Well, yeah” I cleared my throat awkwardly, feeling the heat crawl up my skin as well before sighing in defeat. “Okay, you are right, it _is_ different.”

“I mean” Kento murmured, making a face. “I _think_ I can do it, if it’s you. I mean, we’ve known each other for so long that we are comfortable enough with each other, and… I trust you. So I think if I could do it with anyone, it’s you.”

“Same” I nodded, unable to look at Kento, so I focused my eyes on the white leather wristband he was nervously playing with. “I mean, if they had suggested me touching Marius like that I might have seriously punched someone.”

Kento snorted, calling: “Hey, watch your words, don’t forget the new year’s skit I did with him!”

“That was different, no one took that seriously” I rolled my eyes, but then adding thoughtfully: “Though maybe that was a beneficial factor for the director, at least in your case.”

“Oh please not” Kento made a face. “If he chose me due to _that_ I am not sure I feel so flattered anymore!”

I laughed, and Kento smiled as he watched me. 

“So, that means we are doing it?” he asked. 

“Yes” I nodded, still a little hesitant but nevertheless feeling reassured by the thought of having Kento by my side throughout it. “Under the condition that nothing between us changes, no matter what we have to act out!”

“Deal” Kento nodded, holding out his fist, and I grinned as I bumped mine against it. 

***

As I studied the script over the next couple of weeks, I could somehow understand why the director had thought the roles were perfect for Kento and me. The story revolved around two university students, who had been friends as middle schoolers but had lost contact after my character had moved to Shizuoka with his parents, leaving Tokyo. In university, they met again and eventually, in spite of struggles with his own sexual orientation from my character Hiro’s side, fell in love. The situation escalated, though, when the father of Yuki, Kento’s character, who was an influential politician, heard of the relationship and threw him out without even as much as a penny to his name and all chances of finding employment being blocked by the ruling party. It ended up forcing Yuki into dark circles in his desperation for money and survival, and Hiro trying to save him from them. 

The story was tackling social prejudices and individual power plays in Japanese society, and was as emotional as it was dark and gripping. Kento was the first to read the book, and after only two days he pressed it into my hands with the firm advice to read it, causing me to skip on sleep that night because I could not bare to put it away. I kept seeing Kento and myself in my head, and it made the story strangely more intense to me, made me relate to the character I was supposed to play on a level that I had never before in my dramas. 

I realized, of course, that this had probably been the plan of the director in the first place, having us emotionally invested in our roles simply because Kento and I cared about each other in real life as well, even if it was on a different base than the characters in the book.

Kento and I kept discussing our impressions for days afterwards, so much that our band mates seemed a little sick of the subject after their original enthusiasm about seeing us act as lovers on the big screen (Marius and Sou more excited about it than was actually appropriate, in my eyes), and when the first meeting with the movie staff actually took place, both our scripts were bursting with notes of our own thoughts, making the director grin to himself in self-satisfaction. 

The first few scenes were easy enough to shoot, even. We began at the set of the university, which was ironically mine, making the whole thing feel even more surreal at first. It started out with Kento and me meeting again and the feelings that slowly builded as we grew closer, and even though I had always found that romantic feelings were the hardest to portray through acting, somehow, with Kento and me, it went smoothly. More than once the director noted how he had chosen just the right actors, and it made me happy as much as it made me nervous, because exchanging meaningful glances and little touches was one thing, but the kiss that was scheduled for the next day something completely different.

Kento and I had never spoken about that part of the script, not since we had first decided to take the roles, and as much as I just wanted to not think about it until I really had to, I found myself lying awake at night, trying to wrap my mind around the idea of kissing Kento.

It was the first movie kiss for both of us, at least the first real one which would not be filmed by an angle where all we had to do is to pretend, and the fact that it was Kento I would be kissing made it rather worse than better, strangely enough. Only the mental image twisted my mind into knots and with the way it had already felt way too intimate to cup his cheek with my hand a day ago, I was honestly scared about how I would handle a kiss.

There was no way around it, though. We had decided to do it, and we had promised each other that it would have no consequences, so I had no choice but to jump over my own shadow and do it, really. 

***

“Ready?” I asked, pointedly casual as I plopped down next to him after make up break, trying to not at all seem like I was nervous or worried. 

Kento did not do such a good job at that, but he nodded anyways, decently spitting a gum into a tissue, and I made a face.

“I hope you did not chew peppermint gum because of me” I blurted out with a groan, and to my horror, Kento blushed. 

“I just want to be polite, okay!” he called defensively. “You will never let me hear the end of it if kissing me is unpleasant in any way!”

“It’s not supposed to be pleasant” I reminded him, but my voice sounded strangely whiny so I forced my mouth shut and idly played with the seam of my shorts. 

“I know, I know, this is not what this is about” Kento murmured, sounding anything but confident, and something about this was comical, about the way we both were too nervous and worried about something that should actually be simple and professional. 

“Well, come on, Nakajima, let’s just get it over with” I said in sudden determination, jumping up and pulling at the arm of his T-Shirt for him to follow me. 

“Can you at least stop calling me by my family name in a situation like this?!” Kento groaned, making a face, and I rolled my eyes and returned a firm: “No” before storming off into the direction of the set. 

They were already waiting for us, as it turned out, and after a short instruction about camera angles and places not to put our hands if we did not want to shoot this a hundred times, we were allowed to start. 

“Yuki” I called, trying to catch up with Kento through the corridor, and reluctantly came to a halt. “Why are we even fighting, I mean-”

“Stop pretending like you don’t know what this is about!” Kento called, turning to me, the sudden pain and desperation in his eyes so real that it stung even though I knew it was just an act. 

“Yuki, please” I murmured, breathless not only by pretense, biting my lip. “Don’t do this!”

“Why, because it’s gross? Abnormal?” he challenged. “Seriously, and I am the one with the stuck up parents!”

I did not answer, only looking up when Kento stepped closer, catching my eyes. 

The tension was between us and inside of me too, feeling almost electrically charged and I was pretty glad that we had no lines in that particular moment because for some reason, I was not sure if I could have remembered them. 

Kento’s hand fisted the front of my shirt, and my gaze dropped to his lips automatically, and then, everything happened without further input of mine. 

Kento’s lips were soft, gentle as they brushed against mine, and I felt like the world around us disappeared, all the cameras and the staff and it was just me and Kento, and my skin was tingling and my blood was rushing and I knew nothing apart from that I did not want this to end, wanted to keep feeling Kento’s lips and…

“Hiro-Kun!” a fellow actor called, making Kento pull away hastily, and reality crash over me. The camera’s were back and Kento turned away, exactly like it was scripted, always the perfect actor, and I turned around in honest confusion as I was called again, or better my character was. 

Hiro was not me, and Yuki was not Kento. We were just acting. None of this was real.

“C...coming” I murmured, way too lowly for the camera to catch probably, but no one interrupted the scene and with one last look at Kento’s back, I turned and fled back to where I had come from.

“CUT! Perfect, you two, just perfect!”

My mind was spinning, and I whirled around for Kento immediately, catching him standing exactly where I’d left him, motionless, looking as stunned as I felt.

It was the last scene of the day, and Kento and I did not speak as we packed our things. It was all I could do to clear my throat and bring out a “See you tomorrow” before leaving, and even then Kento did not look up at me, just repeating my words and nodding. 

When I finally reached my car, I just sat in the driver seat for a few long minutes, staring into nothingness, trying to comprehend what had just happened. 

“You are just identifying with your role” I said to myself, out loud, because I was alone and no one else was around to witness my pathetic five minutes. “None of this is real. So calm the fuck down.”

It did not really help, but I still turned the key to start the car and drive home.

***

We changed settings from the next day, and I was a little thankful for that because acting these kind of scenes in the buildings I actually had to spend the rest of my university days in was starting to mess with my mind, and I was already sure I would forever think of that kiss with Kento when I walked to my language classes now. 

The new location was a student dorm, which was supposed to be the place my character Hiro lived in, and a huge deal of the scenes would be filmed there, in that small space where Hiro’s and Yuki’s relationship developed. 

I was relieved when the filming started with less complicated scenes, but still, every time I as much as looked at Kento, everything inside of me tightened and I felt helpless because whatever this was, it could not be happening.

Kento and I had promised each other when we had taken these roles that it would not change anything between us. So what I needed to do was get a grip of myself and draw a line between real life and movie and keep it far, far apart from each other. 

It was simple in my head, but then, we were in front of the camera and Kento was taking my hands, playing with my fingers and looking at me and I forgot all my lines and suddenly, it was anything but simple. 

I was actually waiting for people to comment on my lack of concentration on set, but the staff just patted me on the shoulder and told me that NGs happened to everyone, and maybe it was just my luck that my character was pretty dazed by Kento’s in the story as well so no one really noticed what was acted and what wasn’t.

Only _I_ did and it was driving me insane. And it became worse with the prospect of the continuation of the plot after the first kiss sitting in my neck, including more kisses and a freaking sex scene, and with the way things were going right now, I was not sure how to get through this without embarrassing myself. 

We ended up filming that particular scene on a Sunday morning first thing that day. I was not sure if the staff thought we would have less time to freak if we did it right away or if they hoped we were still only half awake and therefore more relaxed, but none of that seemed to work for me as I dried my sweaty hands in a towel, almost feeling a little like Kento with his tendency to sweat in the most impractical moments.

I kept shooting looks at Kento, unsure if he was as nervous as I was, or what the meaning behind his unusual silence was. I hoped that it had nothing to do with my behavior, because that was another possibility i was not ready to deal with at all. 

“Nakajima-Kun! Kikuchi-Kun! We are ready when you are!” the director called, and I took an unsteady breath before forcing myself to drop the towel and following Kento on the way to the set. 

The scene actually started with lines which I had made sure to read over and over again last night to make sure I did not forget them again the moment I as much as looked at Kento, and as the camera’s rolled and there was a knock on Hiro’s door, I tried to get myself together to walk over to it and open it for Kento. 

Kento’s eyes were blazing when they met mine, and I felt helpless, wondering why all of this was happening. I knew that it was not real. None of it was. So why did I feel like this?

“Hiro, we need to talk” he said, and I gulped, trying to cast away Fuma and feel only the character I needed to be, with all the feelings it entailed. I had no time to worry about reality now. 

“Please, Yuki” I whispered, walking backwards when Kento, no, _Yuki_ entered the room, closing the door behind himself. “Let’s just… not.”

“How can you keep pretending that nothing is happening between us?!” Ken - _Yuki_ demanded angrily. “Don’t tell me you didn’t feel anything when we kissed earlier, because I don’t believe you!”

“Stop making it all sound so easy!” I called. “You know it’s everything but!”

“Why?!” Kento returned. “Would you push me away if I was a girl?! Would you?!”

“But you are no girl!” I almost yelled, making silence fall between us for a moment. 

When Kento spoke again, his voice was quiet and slightly shaky, the way I could remember hearing it when Kento and I had fought the last time, more than a year ago, and the thought clawed around my heart because I knew I was unable to draw the line like I should, and these things I was feeling, they were real and I seemed to have no power to fight them. 

“And does that change anything about the way you feel about me?” he asked, catching my eyes. “Answer me, Hiro.”

I took a shaky breath, closing my eyes, and when I answered, it could have as well been my own words. 

“I wished it did, but no. Actually, it kind of makes it worse, because I know I should stop thinking about you, but I just… I can’t.”

I heard Kento move closer and when I opened my eyes, he was right in front of me, his eyes glued to mine and his hand finding mine and entwining our fingers. 

“Then stop fighting it” Kento whispered, and when he leaned in, I just did as he said, even though the words were not directed at me. 

I wanted to cry at the way it felt when our lips met again, how it washed over me so intensely that I lost track of everything and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me.

I was not sure if this was scripted, was not sure of anything anymore as I kissed him hungrily now, deciding to hell with this, even if this was not real, I would take what I could get, and I would get the best out of this. 

Kento’s lips were just as eager, not losing to me as he fisted the back of my shirt with one hand, and the other went up to lace through my hair, keeping me close. It felt too real, too good, and when the director called cut, I barely heard it, almost unable to pull myself out of it until Kento slowly pulled away, seeming confused. I remembered then, that the scene should have continued. 

“That was good” the director said slowly, and I felt like he was speaking especially slowly, the way you would speak to three year olds, maybe, and I guess with the way we blinked owlishly at him, I could see why he thought that necessary. “But can we try that again with moving over to the bed? You have been just standing there kissing for nearly two minutes now.”

I felt the flush burn on my face and Kento cleared his throat, just nodding before walking out towards the door again. 

Well. That had not been embarrassing. 

***

We needed three more takes until we finally did it right. The first time, Kento forgot his lines. The second time, we were entirely too stiff. It was only when I forced myself to let go of my panic again, just going with the feelings, that the scene started flowing again. 

It was still mind blowing when we came together for the kiss, and I needed a while before I was able to remind myself that we were supposed to be moving, but Kento seemed to have it covered, pushing me lightly backwards without breaking the kiss, and I just followed his lead and focused on our lips moving together until the back of my knees hit the side of the bed.

I broke the kiss to crawl onto it, and Kento hesitated, just watching me, and I tried to remember if that had been written in the script but it was hard to remember anything with the way he was looking at me, and then he joining me on the bed and kissing me again and it didn’t matter. 

I was almost annoyed at the cut this time, and could barely make myself smile when the director praised us. 

“We worked out snippets we want to film now” he explained. “We will cut them together later to create fluency in the scene. First, we want you to kneel on the bed and keep kissing each other, and slowly remove each other’s shirt. Can you do that?”

As if there had been any room to deny, I thought wrily as I nodded, distracted when Kento’s hands found my waist, pulling me up with him. 

We were on eye level again like that, faces so close that I could feel Kento’s breath on my lips, and it made them tingle in anticipation. 

When we got the okay, we were on each other immediately, kisses sloppier and somehow deeper than before, but it felt just right, just perfect, and it was hard to make myself break away when Kento tried to pull my shirt over my head. His lips were back before I had blinked the air out of my eyes, though, and Kento’s hands were on my skin, smoothing over my abs, which had surely not been scripted but maybe was expected as part of an erotic scene. 

It made me shudder nonetheless, and I remembered that I was allowed to touch him too just a moment before I did, sliding my fingers under his shirts to feel hot skin. 

There was a sharp intake of air from Kento’s side and it triggered me on, made me continue my exploration under his shirt, over the soft stomach up to his chest, brushing a nipple. Kento shuddered visibly, finally reaching for the hem of his own shirt to pull it over his head (oh, yes, I had been supposed to do that, practically throwing it down the bed before returning to my lips. 

“CUT!” 

I had to stop myself from groaning out loudly at the interruption, and Kento pulled away only hesitantly, panting. 

The director kept instructing us for little scenes then, making us lie on the bed, me hovering over Kento as I kissed along his neck, feeling him shiver and squirm at my touch, or taking close ups of our kisses. 

I first thought it had been a mistake when Kento’s tongue flicked my lower lip, but then it happened again, so I dared to push it even farther, licking his lips open and deepening the kiss. Kento made a soft noise when our tongues touched, brushing each other gently and entwining and it was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore, i just knew that I wanted the camera’s to disappear so I could kiss Kento all I wanted.

I kept losing track of what they made us do, mind completely focused on the kisses and the touches we were allowed to exchange, and the director informed us that we were done with that scene now and could move on to the “morning after”. 

It left me frustrated because I was aroused and by no means able to concentrate on anything that wasn’t kissing Kento, even when it just included having him wake up in my arms and having soft, sweet confessions. 

The fact that we needed seven tries to make it right probably told everything, and the director was happy to call it lunch break after that. 

I kept glancing at Kento as I pulled my shirt over my head again, seeing how he was watching the staff, lingering behind as everyone else left the set. When he finally met my eyes, they were dark and intense, and I found him grab my wrist before pulling me along the corridors. 

I was too confused to keep up with where we were going, but then Kento finally found what seemed to be an empty prop room, and pushed me through the door before turning the lock behind us. 

I had no time to voice a question before he was kissing me again, no cameras around, no script to follow, just Kento and his fingers fisting my shirt and his lips moving against mine demandingly, giving me no other choice but melting against him even if I had wanted to. 

And it was perfect, the way he clung to me, the way his hair and skin felt under my fingers, how we kissed even more deeply than we had dared to in front of the camera, all raffinesse and inhibitions gone. 

Kento was softly moaning against my lips, and it made me back him up against a wall, made me slip my hands under his shirt again to touch more. When I prodded his nipples this time, they hardened under my touch, and Kento moaned my name, “Fuma”, no more other characters involved, and it made me feel high and more euphoric than standing on stage did. 

I groaned when Kento brought one hand between our bodies, palming me through the fabric of my pants, and broke our kiss to catch Kento’s eyes. 

“Touch me” Kento whispered, and I did, my own fingers finding the zipper of his jeans and fumbling with it. 

Kento was the first to close his fist around my erection, stroking me up and down slowly, and I needed to burry my face in his neck for a moment to muffle my noises. 

Kento’s length was hot and hard between my fingers when I finally got it out of his skinny jeans, but the way Kento’s body trembled under my touch felt amazing, and knowing that my touch brought him this pleasure was what kept me going, what made me search his lips as I found a rhythm, stroking him while he pleasured me in return. 

Kento was the first to lose it, thrusting into my hand helplessly as he splurted over my fingers, biting my lip softly as he tried to keep his voice down and tightening his hold on me.

It did not take long for me to follow him, just a few more strokes of Kento’s shaky fingers and a thumb over the tip, and I forgot everything as the pleasure rolled over me, too intense for me to take. 

When I opened my eyes again, I had slumped into Kento’s embrace, and both of us were panting, desperately trying to calm out breathing. 

“I think we broke our promise” Kento whispered finally, leaning his head against mine. “That this movie would change nothing between us, I mean.”

“I couldn’t care less” I returned, bumping his head softly. “I have been wanting to kiss you behind the camera’s the moment our lips met for the first time.”

“Well, at least that should make filming easier from now on” Kento mused, and I chuckled as I softly pecked his sweaty neck. 

“You mean whenever we aren’t distracted by each other.”

“Well…”

I chuckled, holding onto him tightly, feeling more at ease than I could remember ever feeling. 

***

Officially, nobody knew that Kento and I were dating in real life, but there were too many smug smiles by the staff throughout filming and a few times some of them walked in on us kissing in the dressing room to pretend they didn’t know, and we could really not expect anyone to believe our excuses about rehearsing. 

When the movie finally aired several months later, it indeed had a groundbreaking impact to the Japanese movie business, and even though of course people - especially our fans - kept questioning our relationship to each other, we were widely praised for our convincing acting and our courage to tackle a difficult subject like this. 

“We saw your movie!” Marius announced when he burst into the dressing room, making Kento grin at me from across the room. I merely rolled my eyes and murmured: “Who even let you into the cinema, I think the age limit is 12.”

Marius stuck out his tongue at me, but otherwise ignored my input as he turned to Kento to continue: “It was so awesome! I even cried at the end when Fuma-”

“Don’t spoiler me!” Shori frowned, looking up from his phone. “I am going with Jinguji on Sunday!”

“But really, FumaKen are the best combination, after all, aren’t they?” Sou smiled, dropping his bag with a sigh. “No matter what, it’s always perfect when the two of them do it together!”

Marius agreed, and I had to smile a little as I caught Kento gaze, silently thinking that maybe, he was right. 


End file.
